AP Language & Composition
While this had nothing to do with anything, a young lady wrote a very long essay describing the trials and tribulations
of finding just the right prom dress. If I were the grader, I’d take points off for boring me to death! Even worse than
that was the kid who answered a question with, “The girl across from me has HUGE boobs. I can NOT concentrate.”
How anyone would think that was worth writing on paper is an interesting thing to ponder. A teacher said, “I graded
AP Comp for two years in a row and I just can’t do it again. I wanted to stab my eyes out with an ice pick at the end
of the week. Last year, there was a zombie-themed one that briefly amused me, and a few that just gave up and
drew penises and ponies.” So the penis drawings is a reoccurring theme. A teacher shared that “I had a student
write, ‘I don’t know, so here’s a picture of a puppy.’ He then drew a beautiful picture of a puppy, it took him nearly an
hour to complete it. To this day when I ask my wife a question and she doesn’t know the answer, she just says,
‘puppy.'” It was worth a shot, in my opinion, because who doesn’t love puppies?
AP Biology
Apparently, a student wrote a long passage about “how he wished he still had his umbilical cord so he could attach it
to other people and steal all of their nutrients.” If only we knew what question this was in response to, we would be
able to laugh even more! One student went with the “Modern Problems Need Modern Solutions” idea when
answering what population cycles depend upon. Their answer was the availability of Viagra, and come to think of it,
they’re not entirely wrong. An AP Bio question was “What are two causes of infertility in males?” and a student
response was “lack of penis.” This is also not entirely wrong but I’m not much of a biologist. On a free response
question that asked for two ways that plants prevent self fertilization., the first reason given was that their “guy and
Teacher Misery MORE Teacher Misery
